Wednesday, June 13, 2012


 First, I must preface this post by saying that I am not a writer.  I am not someone who can sit down at the computer and write a deep and eloquent post...and that's OK.  I say that because if this post seems jumbled or does not flow well that is why.

But today I have something that I want to share...something that has been on my heart...something that I don't have a conclusion about.  Perhaps you can give me some feedback.
On my heart lately has been what I feel is that lack of mothers encouraging other mothers.  I am finding too often that there is more comparison and less uplifting.  I am coming across moms, some of which I consider friends and others I come across in passing, who have the tendency to take little jabs at other moms regarding their they are behaving, what they have on, what activities they are involved in, etc.

I had one person, someone who I like, compare Caleb's energy to the hyper activity of a dog.  While I hope that she did not mean it to hurt me, it stung and left me wondering (and worrying) about Caleb's energy level and how other people view him.

I know of a teacher who totally and unlovingly criticized the child of a friend of mine, giving her little hope that her son will do well in school that following year.  Wouldn't it have benefited her (and her son) for the teacher to give encouraging words and guidance to assist in the child's development?
 Now don't get me moms we should be confident in who we are in Christ and ultimately our joy comes from Him.  But I also believe that He gives us people in our lives to also encourage us and help us to be the kind of mom He planned for us. 
So this is what I have been praying:

~ That I am not tearing anyone down with my words or my actions
~ That I am an encouragement to other moms with my words and by my actions
~ That moms feel the urge to using loving words when interacting with other moms
~ That we, as moms, humble ourselves in our thinking about how children *should* be
~ That we share Scripture with one another to fill our spirits

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11

Are we?


Carrie said...

Kelli thank you so much for sharing this! It is very true and obvious at times how we treat each other, and sadly I am no better at times. :-( I do also try to be an encourager because I get how it feels to be on the other end as well. I had a mom I didn't know keep apologizing at a play area for her son getting into things and being busy, but I told her he was just doing his 'job'! That's what kids do best, explore and learn! It's tough and we all need this reminder! Thanks for sharing your heart! ❤

LeAnna said...

Mmmm, good word, sister! I think what you described happens much more than it should. I've always thought that if we, as mothers, would spend less time comparing and criticizing one another, and MORE time just LOVING each other, we wouldn't have the drama that we do. Whatever happened to "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"? We all feel so entitled (um, yeah, I'm guilty) though. We feel like we have the right to tell others our opinions (did I mention I'm guilty?)when in fact, we really do not. I think having a close friend, who knows me and my children, compare my child's energy to a dogs energy would feel NOTHING like having someone who doesn't really know me or my kids do the same thing. But somehow those lines get blurred and nobody stops to filter what comes out of their mouth.

No wonder James said the tongue was destructive and hard to control. We need edification in the body of Christ. We shouldn't expect it from those who aren't believers, but we should practice it ourselves. Building one another up!

So basically, to end this LONG comment I'll say a big hearty AMEN! :)

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Well, first of all, I do think you're a wonderful writer. I often feel like my words don't flow very well at all, but you always "sound" eloquent to me!

Also. I LOVE this. You are right. I get so tired of being compared, judged, talked about. I'm willing to bet that almost all moms are doing the very best we can with the circumstances we've been given. We all want what is best for our children and our families. If there was more encouragement and less judgement, I think we'd all be a lot happier. Thank you for writing this, Kelli, and I'm sorry that you've been witnessing so many hurtful comments and judgements lately.

Kim3278 said...

You are spot on. I think a lot more moms could do a lot more encouraging. We need more examples of Christ, LIKE YOU! Thank you for being my voice of reason this past week and for lifting me up. You've listened and encouraged and passed no judgement. Lets face it, sometimes it is a little to "easy". And what a beautifully written reminder to moms, and HUMANS, that we should take that extra moment before we stick our foot in our mouths.

And, just so you know--I love your posts. And, I treat my blog like my journal so I don't care if they are well versed or beautifully written. They represent your thoughts and feelings. Be you luv...and know we love you more for it.

Rach said...

I've often said the same thing. Parenting is HARD. I mean HARD hard. You know that. I think some moms are so wrapped up in worrying about what they're doing and if they're doing a good job they have to belittle and tear down other moms in an effort to make themselves feel better.

I try to lift others up and try hard not to judge. You have NO idea what is going on in anyone's life unless you are living it. That grumpy mom in the store? She may have lost a child or be dealing with a terminally ill parent and her child has just hit the wrong nerve.

Love and understanding goes a long way in this world and I think more people should use it.

Hugs to you. I'm sorry someone said something about Caleb that hurt you. Anyone can see you are a wonderful loving mom who has two very bright, beautiful children.

Love you!

Stacey said...

I've had people, including family members intimate that Evan is hyper and one even hinted that he needed meds...she had forgotten about one of her own kids who was exactly the same way! It's very hard to not take comments like that personally because they hurt!
I love this post and agree with it totally. Thanks for speaking out Kelli, it's something everyone needs to hear.


Jaydee said...

Kelli, what seems hyper to some, is perfectly normal to others. What happened that kids cannot be filled with energy - energy they have to let out... man, that's what childhood is all about! It is true that so many people are totally judgmental. That's their problem. They have to live with themselves. As Eleanor Roosevelt said: "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Don't let them get to you. You are a good person, a wonderful mother and a wonderful wife.

Kelli @ RTSM said...

I think you are so right...and honestly I know I am guilty of not being as encouraging as I should be sometimes. One thing I do try to do is make sure to mention the positive things when I see them. So often people only speak out when they see something negative and I think that is a shame. I try to keep the negative thoughts {especially about other peoples kids} to myself.